If I had the chance to race Godzilla on four-wheelers you wouldn’t be able to fucking stop me.
my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
if you judge me for the terrible things I’ve done in the past then you will never appreciate me for the terrible things I’m doing in the present